Lillian in Hatterville
by tuff-when-needed-johnny
Summary: What happens when the wrong person falls down the rabbit hole?
1. Chapter 1

"COME HERE YA LITTLE RAT!" Lillian Calivera screamed and ran faster. Even though it was 1:00 in the morning she was chasing a stubborn rabbit that just wouldn't stop hopping. Finally the rabbit jumped down a hole in the ground. Lillian followed and jumped. Thinking it was no more than two feet deep.

She tumbled down, down, down. "OH MY GOD THIS DOES NOT SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!"

She grabbed two vials, one from a small cliff, the other from the air- it was somehow floating. She thought the water would wake her up. Just as she went to take the cap off the first one- SMACK!- she crashed into a wall and was now lying on a cold, marble floor.

Lillian set one vial on the table, took the other's tagged cap off, poured the liquid into her hand, and splashed it on her face. "GOD!" she yelled. "THAT SMELLS HORRIBLE!"

She opened the other bottle and took a sip. "BLEH-HEH-HEH! MUSTARD! I HATE MUSTARD!" she squeaked and started brushing her tongue off with her hands. She reached for the other bottle and- without looking- took a sip. She coughed and looked at the table. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaahhhhhhh! The- the table! It's growing- don't kill meee! Wait, I shrunk..."

Lillian saw a piece of cake on a table that looked like it should be in a doll house. "Is this plastic..." she said and slowly inched towards the cake. She poked it.

"Nope it's real... now wait a second, if I eat this will my clothes grow with me or will they stay the same and rip... will I have to run around naked?! MY CLOTHES COULD EAT IT TOO! Because then they would grow with me- waaaaait... clothes don't have guts..."

Lillian shrugged and looked up at the table. She walked over to a door and yelled- "OPEN SAYS ME!" She waited... "OPEN SAYS ME! OPEN SAYSELL!" She pushed against the door. "WOOP! IT'S GIVING WAY! IT'S GIVING WAY!" She stopped. "No that was me who was giving way huh..."

"Hey!" the door yelped.

Lillian screamed and started running around. "OOOOOH MY GOD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'M DEAD! I'VE DIED! I'M DEAD!"

The door rolled its eyes. "Definitely not an Alice... Perhaps a distant Hatter..."

Lillian slammed her wrist against her ear, then against the door. "Do you hear anything?! Hey how can you talk? Are your vocal chords like, in your eyeballs or something?"

"Hatter... definitely a Hatter..."

Lillian saw something under the rug. She picked it up. A key... She tried to stick it in the door but it swung open and she fell out. "Jerk!" she yelled as the door slammed shut.

Lillian looked around. Butterflies. Horseflies. Dragonflies. Roses. Dandelions.

No! Bread-and-butterflies! Rocking-Horseflies! Fire-Breathing-Dragonflies!

A little grey bird waddled out from a bush that was hiding a body of water.

"Why aren't you flying?" Lillian called.

"I can't." it called back.

"You could be a penguin... no penguins aren't that ugly..."

"Well!"

"No... they are ugly... WIGS! They don't wear wigs! Ugly grey bald non-penguin flightless feather man!"

"I'm a dodo."

"Hehe... you don't have to tell me twice..." she giggled.

The dodo bird rolled his eyes. "Try the Hatter..." he mumbled. "Hatta?" Lillian repeated.

Suddenly the rabbit hopped by. "Hey! You!" Lillian yelled.

"No, no, no! I'm late! I must go!" he yelled back.

"NNNNO! Get back here!"

But the rabbit kept running. "She's as loony as the Hatter..." he whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Lillian stuck her tongue out at the rabbit and walked into a darker part of the forest.

"Oh man. This is like the parts in movies when some freak with a dagger jumps out and cuts people to ribbons... If a crazy slasher dude jumps out right now I'm toast..."

Something laughed.

"EEP!" Lillian squeaked. "Crazy slasher dude?" she whispered. "Is that you?"

A thin band of purple spun around in a tree. Then a white crescent glided onto it's side.

"What's the moon doing down here so early... and so far down..."

"Lost?"

"Who 'dat?!" Lillian spun around.

"Are you lost?"

"NO!...MAYBE!...OKAY YES!"

"I can take you to a tea party."

"WHO... ARE... YOU?!"

"Who are you? The Caterpillar?"

"The what? Who are you?! And WHERE are you?! SHOW YOURSELF! What are you?"

"I'm the Cheshire Cat. And you are NOT the Caterpillar. He has a bunch of feet! And you only have two!"

"Where are you? Show yourself!"

"I'm in the tree crazy girl."

"Okay, now what are you?"

"It's in the name! I'm a kitty!... Meow..."

Lillian felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and was face-to-face with a purple smiling cat.

"BAAAAAAAH!" she screeched.

"Same to you my dear."

"HELP!" Lillian screamed and started running around.

The cat's eyes grew. "She's crazy... Go see the Hatter."

"I would if I knew WHO THE HECK THE HATTA WAS!"

"The Hatter is this loon that has un-birthday parties with the March Hare aaand-"

"Woah, woah wait... un-birthdays? Where did he hear that- I MADE IT UP!"

"I'll take you to him..."

The Cheshire cat disappeared.

"Follow my footsteps..."

Four paw prints appeared in front of her.

"Um ok..."

The paw prints raced ahead into the darkness.

"Where'd you go?!" Lillian squeaked. "I'm scared..."

She turned around quickly when-

"BOO!" The Cheshire cat popped up right in front of her.

"AAAAAAAAOH! GOOD GOD! WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?!"

"Nope!"

Just then a giant moth came by and picked up Lillian.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! NONONONONONONONOOOO!"

The cat appeared in front of her.

"So... how are you doing?"

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"That's nice, me too. Enjoying the ride?"

"NONONONOOOO! I'M NOT!"

"Well... that's a shame..."

"YES! IT IS! Now could you do me one favor?"

"Yes."

"GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"

"No need to shout."

"I AM BEING CARRIED AWAY BY A GIANT MOTH! NOW YOU TELL ME THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!"

The Cheshire cat snapped and the moth disappeared. Lillian plunged downward.

"NO! I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THIIIS!"

There was a guy in a big green hat picking up a mushroom.

"AAAAAAH! MUSHROOM DUUUUDE!"

He looked up. "Did you hear something?" He said to the mushroom. "I am certain I heard something."

THUD!

Lillian fell right on top of the random mushroom dude.

"Ouch..." he said.

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!" Lillian said and scrambled off of the dude. She sat down in the grass and he sat up.

"Fooled you didn't I?"

"Did that not hurt you?"

"Were you trying to hurt me?"

"No! Not at all!"

He smiled. "Very well then." He stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Wherever you are." He held out his hand and helped Lillian up.

"I've been told by three... things... animals I think to 'See the Hatter' and I never have found him."

"Well..." he stomped his foot and threw his arms out to his sides. "You've succeeded." He tipped his hat. "Mr. Mad Hatter at your service my dear..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hatta?" Lillian repeated, eyes wide.

"Yes?"

Lillian shook her head. "I've been told you celebrate un-birthdays..."

"I do."

"And it's my un-birthday today."

"It's your un-birthday?!"

"Yes." Lillian said.

"What a small world! Come along my dear!"

He took her hand and pulled her all through the forest until they got to a wood house.

The Mad Hattery

-the sign read.

"Mad Hattery?" Lillian said.

"Mhm." The Hatter opened the door and pulled her through a maze of beautiful hats on racks.

"Wooooow..." Lillian whispered.

"You like them?"

"They're beautiful..."

"Thank you. I made them myself."

"All of these?"

"Mhm- except that one. The March Hare made that."

"It's lopsided... and the brim is upside down..."

"'Tis two examples of why there is only one... It looks terrible, he did not stitch it right, the colors don't match, he said hat-making was hard and took too long so he swore on his insanity that he would never make another,-"

Lillian giggled. "You take your hats seriously don't you?"

"But of course!"

"Would you make me one?"

The Hatter stopped her, put his hands on her shoulders, and lowered her into a hair salon looking chair.

"That is my plan..." He lowered the chair, picked up a tape measurer and kneeled down in front of Lillian.

"Keep your head straight and still my dear..."

"O-okay..." Lillian whispered, looking into his sparkling blue eyes.

The Hatter wrapped the tape measurer around her head.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Seventeen..."

He pulled the tape measurer off.

"How old are you?" Lillian asked.

"The square root of 1,276,684 minus 187 divided by 2 minus 451 minus 0.4522103683." The Hatter said casually.

Lillian's jaw dropped. Hatter looked up at her from the tape measurer he was marking and smiled. "In other words, twenty..." Lillian smiled. Hatter stood up, sat on the corner of the "salon's" mirror table and sketched a little on a drawing pad. He looked up at Lillian and threw the pad to the floor. He ran across the room and got green and blue fabric.

"Close your eyes..."

"The whole time?!"

"The whole time..."

Lillian closed her eyes but soon fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A couple hours later, Hatter set something on her head and put his hands over her eyes. Lillian jumped.

"It's okay. It's just me... Open your eyes..."

Lillian opened her eyes and Hatter took his hands off.

In the mirror sat a girl with curly brown hair wearing a tall green hat with a blue bow tied on the back. It looked just like Hatter's except it had a bow and no slip 10/6 on it.

She gasped and brought her hands to her mouth. Her eyes were wide and teary.

"I..."

"I try to incorporate the person's personality into the hat..."

"It looks like your's."

"Mhm... I see you as a very smart girl but forget things easily. In one ear and out of your mind... You still know the things but you don't think about them at all... In other words, my dear, you are quite mad."

Lillian smiled.

"Hm." Hatter said.

"What?"  
"Only one day, I swear I've known you longer than that."

"Yeah. Same here."

"Do you like tea?"

"Well that's a silly question. Why wouldn't I?"

"Come along." The Hatter led her into a room with three wardrobes in it. "I find it funny that wherever I lead you, you follow without a moments hesitation."

"Of course..."

"Very well then." He walked up to the wardrobe in the middle and swung open the doors.

Full of dresses.

"I design these when I have nothing else to do... which is a lot..." he smiled. "Pick your favorite..."

"I couldn't!"

"Sure you can!" he picked one from off the hanger. "You just go like this." He skipped out of the room, across the store, and into another room.

Lillian giggled.

Hatter poked his head out the door. "See?" he said, walking back into the room.

Lillian smiled.

"The dressing room is over there." He pointed to the room he skipped into as he was walking back out.

"Very well then." Lillian grinned. Hatter smiled.

He walked over to a chair near the door but 30 feet away from the wardrobe room. Right in the middle of the two rooms facing the door. He picked up his book of hat ideas and opened it.

Lillian took off her shoes and grabbed 4 dresses. She ran to the dressing room.

Thud-thud-clash!-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.

Hatter's eyes looked up from the book. Lillian dropped a dress.

CLASH! She set the rest down.

Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud...

She picked it up.

Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.

He smiled.

A pink strapless dress with one wave of vertical fabric down the middle of the skirt part. The top was embroidered with gold thread in tiny swirled top hats.

A blue strapless dress that stopped in the middle of the thigh in the front but kept going in the back to the floor. The skirt part was all lose ruffles and the top was carefully embroidered with silver thread into complicated but elegant swirls and tiny tea cups.

A light pink one shoulder dress that's skirt's top left side was pinned up with a pink rose pin to the right's and the rest of the left side drooped down to the floor. The right side had waves of vertical fabric starting where the left was pinned up.

A gothic dress that stopped just above her knee in the front but a piece went down to her shin in the back. It had one thin dark green silk layer on top of a thick three layers of fishnet skirt under it so it wouldn't cling to the legs. From the shoulder down to just above her elbow was dark deep blue velvet and on the ends were bell sleeves- dark blue lace. There was filigree details on the dark blue velvet corsage-like lace up attached to the dress. The neck was low and was lined with ruffled blue lace. She shook her head.

They were all absolutely magnificent... but none of them seemed to match Lillian's hat...

She looked over in the corner of the dressing room. It was the one that Hatter left. She tried it on. It was a bright orange "heart-style" neck strapless dress that stopped at the knees. On the left side were green peacock feathers stretching to the right. On the top left was a blue embroidered teapot. The teapot appeared to be pouring the feathers instead of tea. The skirt part was a smooth gauzy type material and wasn't at all tight.

Lillian tip-toed out quietly.

"Boo!"

"AH!" Hatter jumped. "Little polka dot. I would have never guessed you were seventeen." he said turning around. He smiled. "I thought you might like that one."

Lillian twirled around. "I do."

"Come along," he smiled. "You know... I had a weird dream..."


	5. Chapter 5

The Hatter lead her to a gate and told her to go ahead he'd be back in a minute that he left his best teapot at the shop.

Lillian opened the gate and walked to the table.

"You know the Hatter?" The hare said immediately.

"If I did... how would you know that?"

"Only one person could make such a hat as your's and thats the Hatter..."

"Oh well, yes I know the Hatter..."

"What's your name?"

"Lillian."

XXX

"Okay, my turn. What is your favorite color?"

Lillian rolled her eyes, wondering why she had allowed Hatter to start this game.

They were laying on the grass while the March Hare was making the tea.

"Lime green. What about you?"

"Well, I love orange, but recently it's been bright pink." He said as he looked her in the eyes. Lillian felt herself blushing since she knew that her eyes were a bright magenta.

"What type of pink? Like magenta pink?"

"Yes. You just asked me two questions, so I get two."

"Not fair."

"Completely fair. Now, what do you do in your world?"

"I don't have a job. I just finished school and I'm not sure what to do with my life. With everything that my dad and two friends told me when I was a kid, I feel unmotivated and unsure. I know nothing useful."

"That's not true." Hatter rolled over face-down in the grass. "Ow..." he mumbled, but Lillian didn't hear him.

"Yes it is, the only thing I can do is alter my voice to seem like different people... like Robin Williams... and you can't make a job out of just that in my world."

"But you could here." he looked up at her. The way that he said that, seeming so sweet and his intense gaze.

"Guess... What is my favorite song?" Hatter asked.

"If you like it then you shoulda put a hat on it!" Lillian said after thinking for a couple seconds.

Hatter pointed to his hat.

He started doing the Single Ladies dance- the hand flip and moving his head.

Lillian laughed.

"You have anyone close in your world?"

"You already asked me two questions. It's my turn." Lillian said.

"But you didn't answer it!" Hatter said.

Lillian heard the disappointment in his voice.

"Well no, I don't. My dad rarely comes around and I don't have any friends..."

Hatter rolled back over.

"Hatta?" Lillian said. "You're bleeding."

"Hm?"

"Your shoulder."

"Oh yeah... I must have cut it on a rock or something..."

"I'm gonna get a napkin, okay?"

Hatter just nodded, took off his jacket, and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Are you sure I'm bleeding?" he said.

"Positive!" Lillian said.

"Only crazy people are positive!" Hatter said.

"Are you sure?" Lillian smiled.

"Positive!" Hatter said confidently.

Lillian held back a laugh and ran over to the table.

It took Hatter a couple seconds before- "WAIT A MINUTE!"

Lillian got one of the cloth napkins and ran back. She was stunned by how strong he looked. There were enough movies where the guy had no shirt on to satisfy any girl's dreams for years, but that was nothing compared to the real thing. Hatter wasn't buff-buff, but he was strong and had some muscles and didn't seem shy about it. Lillian tried to hide her blush under the shadow of her hat as she started to wrap the napkin around his shoulder.

It was healing faster than she had ever seen a wound heal, but then again, she was in Wonderland. Lillian felt him pull back when she had pressed too hard on the wound.

"I'm sorry." she said quickly.

"It's okay." His eyes narrowed as he placed his hand on her cheek. "You're hot?"

"A little." It was from her blushing so much. They heard the snapping of a twig. Lillian turned quickly and grabbed a knife from the table. Hatter had such worry in his eyes that her heart gave a little tug.

The Cheshire cat floated out of the bushes.

"Having fun there, Hatter?" he said.

"Jeez Cheshire, I thought you were the crazy slasher dude again." Lillian said, dropping the knife.

"If I was, I wouldn't make so much noise."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are your shoes broken?" Hatter said. Lillian's shoes were untied. She giggled and tied her shoe.

"NO! THEY'RE BROKEN!" Hatter cried hysterically. "NOHOHOHOHO! NO! FIX IT! CHESHIRE! AHHH! THEY'RE BROKEN! YOU'RE GONNA GET LOHOHOHOOOOOST!" he slammed his face into his book.

Lillian laughed.

XXX

"Have you seen a picture of the queen?" the Hatter said.

Lillian nodded.

"Did you get sick? When you saw it?"

She giggled and shook her head.

"Why not?"

She shrugged.

"Are you gonna get sick?"

She shook her head.

"Well what are you gonna do after here?!"

She shrugged.

"You don't know?" He sat down. "Here sit down with me." He patted the chair beside him.

She sat down.

"Did you know Chess smells like pancakes?"

The cat looked down.

"Hii." Hatter waved at him.

XXX

After the party Lillian and the Hatter were cleaning off the table while the March Hare was washing dishes. Lillian was sitting on the table.

She was shaking like a leaf and her heart was pounding like a headache the size of Texas. The silverware in her hands were just barely rattling.

"Hatta..." she said.

"Hmm?" Hatter looked up from wiping the table off. Straight into Lillian's eyes.

She paused. "N-nothing."

"Very well then." he said and was about to walk off.

"Hatta I love you..." Lillian said quickly. Hatter turned around to the table. "And if I wasn't too scared to I'd... I'd," she took a quivering breath. "I'd..." Lillian kissed the Hatter over the table... He was on the right side, she was on the left... Although Hatter did seem to enjoy himself, Lillian pulled back slowly. She was scared to see what was coming.

All she could think was- "I kissed the Hatter. I kissed the Hatter. I kissed the Hatter. I kissed the Hatter. Why?!"

"I'd do that..."

Hatter's eyes narrowed.

Lillian looked at the silverware in her hands, ashamed.

Hatter jumped up on the table and down to her side and kissed her.

His eyes were closed, her's were wide open in a "what just happened?" sort of way. But she stood up, immediately dropped the silverware, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"LILLY." The March Hare called.

Lillian pulled back.

"Shoot..." She ran to the Hare.

Hatter just stood there.

"So... Hatter." a voice said.

"Oh no..." Hatter rolled his eyes and the Cheshire cat appeared.

"What did you slip into her tea?"

"_I_ didn't do anything Chess, I'm still trying to piece this together..."


	6. Chapter 6

It was dark.

Lillian didn't want to go but she had nowhere to stay.

Hatter decided to take her back to her world. Five of Lillian's friends were waiting for her. She forgot they were coming over.

"LILLYYYY?" one girl called.

Lillian tripped and just about fell back into the rabbit hole.

"Hattaaa!"

Hatter turned around and dragged her back up.

"Here," he said as he helped her up and held her hand. "Don't let go, or you could get hurt again."

"There are no more holes..."

"Mhm."

Lillian smiled.

"Lillian!"

One girl named Fiona ran up.

"Lilly where...were...you..." she was looking at Hatter, who tipped his hat at her. "Who's that?" she whispered to Lillian.

"The Hatter..."

"Mr. Mad Hatter..."

"Or Squishy... long story."

Fiona looked at Lillian's hand. "So how long have you known each other?"

"Oh... um... just... uh just today..."

All the other girls caught up.

Hatter decided to stay for a while.

XXX

"Hey Squishy!" Lillian yelled.

"Hmm?"

"Bend and snap go!"

"Beeeeeeeend-" Hatter touched his toe "- and snap!" and came back up quickly and held his hands like a mouse.

"Hey why is his nickname Squishy?" Fiona said.

"Well I fell asleep when Lilly was trying on the dress and I had a weird dream. I was wandering through the forest and was doing my daily exercises of eating peanut butter and jam and picking the mushrooms when a giiiiant shoe came around- I soon realised that Lillian had eaten the wrong side of the mushroom and she had grown to the size of a house. Then the giant foot came down upon my head and I said-" Hatter held his arms up in front of his chest. "'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'... and she said- 'Quite squishy.' The end!"

XXX

Fiona picked up a pencil and started tapping it on the table like a drum.

"Do you play?" Hatter said.

"I play drum." Fiona said.

"I play guitar." Boss said. "I play piano." Lillian said. "I play trumpet." Caroline yelled from her room. She was looking for her video camera. She found it.

X

Caroline turned on the camera and walked over to them.

"Is it on already?"

Caroline nodded.

"Helloooo! These are all my little band girls. How I love them... come along." They all group hugged.

"Squishy." Caroline said.

"Yes I'm very squishy... AHHHH! Sometimes too squishy!"

Hatter turned to Lillian.

"Do you love me?"

"Hatta!" Lillian smiled.

"Oh of course you do! Who wouldn't love me!"

Hatter and her hugged for a couple minutes. Lillian's face was buried in the shoulder of the Hatter's jacket and Hatter chin was on her shoulder.

He whispered something into Lillian's ear that made her giggle.

She kissed him- not on the cheek.

They pulled back. Lillian grabbed his hand.

"I shall see you soon I'm sure." Hatter said.

Lillian smiled.

"Aww..." Fionna said.

The Hatter shuffled closer to her and they hugged again. Hatter's eyes were closed lightly and he was smiling.

Lillian still had her arms wrapped around Hatter's waist, he gestured to the other girls with one of his hands with the other he had around Lillian's waist. "And you all, see to- Stop it!" he pointed at one girl, who was giggling, and grinned. "See to that the queen doesn't hear about this."

"Hatter we'll miss you!" one of the girls said.

"Oh it will be fine." Hatter said.

He looked at Lillian.

"Yes..." he said.


End file.
